I just saw – between betrayals in Galactic Battlestar – who are preparing to hold auditions for another season of Who wants to be a superhero?the most geek-oriented reality show out there. (The beauty and the geek doesn’t count: that’s for people who want to gawk at nerds but don’t have the courage to walk into a comic book store).
There has to be more of this. Seriously, they’re leaving a lot of disposable income on the table by not courting techies and Trekkies more enthusiastically. I can think of several suitable reality shows and the only thing that motivates me is the deadline for a column. Surely the networks will come up with something.
In case you can’t, here are my ideas:
alliance of love
Seven charming night elves and a reasonably cute gnome compete for the attentions of a lonely geek in world of warcraft. The trick? Only one of the “girls” is played by a woman! If you choose correctly, you will have a girlfriend you can play with. If you don’t, you better have good cybersex skills and a powerful imagination. In the top-rated episode, Barry and “Lithinara” bond over the carcasses of about a hundred bristly boars, only to have Barry’s hopes dashed when Lithinara says, “brb, I have to drain the lizard.”
Geek me up
Every week, a regular guy tries to land a lucrative job in engineering, network administration, or programming. The problem is that the applicant’s coordinated suit, attractive haircut, and lack of strange facial hair betray his lack of technical experience. A team of geeks instruct the contestant on how to wear the same shirt for a week and snort derisively when asked for help. Can the tech-savvy wannabe become wrinkled, antisocial and oily enough to fool employers? Bret “CybrGodd” Henderson becomes the breakout star with his catchphrase, “Shut up and slouch.”
Change of operating system
Every week, two geeks are chosen to exchange computers. For maximum drama, each computer runs a different operating system. Can a Mac user adapt to Windows XP? Can a Debian Linux fan last a week using Red Hat Linux? The first 20 minutes of the show are usually spent mumbling and rearranging desktop icons, followed by long speeches about how the contestant’s regular computer never crashed or had driver problems, smelled like honeysuckle, and could cure hives with its screen saver.
